Save You
by wingedraksha
Summary: Their love is dangerous, but Kitty refuses to see what John knows in his heart is inevitable... John's views on the relationship that could start a war, featuring Emilie Autumn's 'Save You'.


_How do I save you from a fate so sweet  
As being torn to pieces by a loving hand?  
How do I save you from a voice so soft  
As that which acquiesces to your each demand?  
_

You lie there, a warm familiar in the dark. You've come out of the shadows, misting, ghost-like… Now, your face is slumbersoft and magical, your own shadows tracing your lips as lovingly as any mortal hand. Your whispers of love and promises of forever drift through the air, incorporeal as you yourself, carefully crumbling into intangible flecks of dust that, when dawn arrives, will disappear for good. You wouldn't hear the pleading, the warning, the threats. You wouldn't hear any of it.

Blankets are crumpled; cheap hotel blankets that you said reminded you of your grandmother's old quilts: scratchy, oddly-shaped, almost ugly... You added, reassuring, that you were sure heat wouldn't be a problem. Your eyes… how they sparkled then. The light. The joy. All of it a secret, here in this cheap little room, this shallow splash in a pool that Romeo and Juliet dug into the hearts of humanity. Star-crossed? Maybe. Lovers? You smiled when you heard the question, your body opening, your arms reaching.

_How do I look upon the eyes I love  
And send them down this path… I know it isn't right.  
How do I make you realize, my love,  
That there is more to fear than strangers in the night?_

You are so quiet here, sleeping. Your breath barely moves the still air. Your warmth spreads across the bed, seeping into the cold that will not leave completely. You dream, perhaps, of a light place. You have no idea what else slumbers here, or doesn't slumber. You have no idea what danger you are in.

You laughed when the lighter fell onto the bed in the midst of shedding clothes and inhibitions, and set it haphazardly on the bedside table. Gave it no more thought. Gave no thought to what hovered, demonic or just human, behind that lighter. It hovers now, as you sleep. An ever-present shade of red, burning just beyond what you can touch. It gleams in the metal of the lighter, in the slick glow of sweat across your skin, in the soft light of the moon through the dingy window. It breathes all around you, a lust, a lying whore that is, in the silence, begging for release. Hungry for… And you don't believe it. Waking, you would not see. Sleeping, you can not feel.

_How do I save you?  
How do I set you free?  
Behind the curtain waits a darker world…  
If I can't make you leave,  
How can I save you from me?  
_

You wouldn't listen to the warnings. You wouldn't go, not even in the end. Not even after fighting, fucking, bleeding, loving. This love. Is this love? Is love this line you walk so blindly, unaware of how close you are to falling? On one side, safety. Sadness, grief, anger, pain, but safety. On the other side?

In your infinite innocence, you don't realize the truth that neither Romeo nor Juliet told, that love… love, in all its hard beauty…

Love has limits.

_  
I think you've had enough experience  
To differentiate between a heart of gold  
And what you cradle in your gentle arms.  
Can you not recognize a soul already sold?  
_

You shook your head when you remembered the pain, the killing. Not here. Not now. Not this. You reached your arms, real and whole and so, so beautiful, and took into yourself a monster in an angel's garb. You made yourself believe, and you won't let go of your own delusions. No monster, but a boy, a broken, lonely boy?

No boys here, but you can't see it. Blinded in the dark.

_How do I save you from the things I've been?  
I can't deny the past, it's written on my face.  
How do I save you from the mess you're in  
When I can't make you leave this torturous embrace?_

You curl closer, your legs slipping and sliding, flesh on flesh. The soft heat at their apex proves your sincerity, your belief, your trust. The closed eyes, lashes long against your cheeks… You sigh in your sleep, pressing your lips together, licking them. Your dreams have shifted, now.

Tomorrow, you'll wake at sunrise. You'll stretch, stand, dress, smile, kiss, vanish. You'll be gone. You'll never be gone. There will be another time, and another, and another, these secret meetings, and then there will be no more ever again.

And until that day, you'll have no idea just how far into the woods you've really wandered.

For now, though, you sigh once more, and then… still.

_How do I save you?  
How do I set you free?  
Behind the curtain waits a darker world…  
If I can't make you leave  
How can I save you from me?_


End file.
